3 January 2008
Time to ‘Man Up!’
I’m really sticking myself out there on this one, but I’ve felt a burden to reach out with all I’ve got to the husbands, fathers, and single men of Southbrook for Jesus Christ.
Some of you might remember a post that I did not too long ago in which Barna (check here as well) did a study on influence and church involvement. Put another way, he did a study to determine who in the family had the greatest influence in getting the entire family going to church and committing to a church. You might think it would be fairly even across the board, or even that “Mom” would have the greatest influence since we all know that,
“If Momma Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy!”
While I wholeheartedly agree with that 
, the study showed the opposite on this one. In fact, this study has been done time and time again and in multiple countries with the same results. Take a look at the following, I know it’s long, but it is well worth the time!
Swiss study
In 1994, a study was conducted in Switzerland by researchers Werner Haug and Phillipe Warner of Switzerland’s Statistics office to determine what factors paved the way for the successful transference of the parent’s faith to the next generation — specifically measured by church attendance. These numbers were calculated from the Swiss census which tracked various aspects of Swiss life including religious.
What Haug and Warner discovered was absolutely startling. One of the most important factors affecting a child’s future church attendance as an adult was their father’s attendance.
Here is what the study showed:
Not surprisingly, in families where neither parent attended church, only 4% of their children became regular attendees, 15% were classified as irregular attendees and over 80% did not attend at all.
The numbers improved when the mother attended church regularly and the father not at all. In these families, 2% of their children went on to attend services regularly, 37% attended irregularly and 61% not at all. It showed that the mother’s faithful attendance had a positive influence on future church attendance by her children.
The father’s impact
However, the study showed that the biggest influence on a child’s future church attendance — either regularly or irregularly — was the father’s church attendance. Not surprisingly, the level of the father’s faithfulness in church attendance was also a factor.
There was a dramatic increase in regular church attendance, when both dad and mom attended church on a regular basis. In these families, 33% of their children attend regularly, 41% irregularly and 26% did not attend at all. When dad was an irregular attendee and the mother regular, 3% of the children were regular church attendees, 59% irregular and 38% did not attend at all.
However, one of the most stunning statistics showed up in when the father was more faithful in church attendance than the mother. In homes where the father was a regular church attendee and the mother irregular, 38% of the children went on to regularly attend church, 44% attended irregularly and 18% did not attend at all. Incredibly, a child’s future church attendance was better in this type of family than in those where both parents regularly attended.
Even when the father attended church irregularly and the mother didn’t at all, 25% of the children went on to attend church regularly, 23% irregularly and 52% not at all. This compared to families where mothers attended regularly and the father not at all where the numbers were 2%, 37% and 61% respectively.
For some reason the father’s influence in the spiritual development of the family was strengthened by the mother’s indifference. It is difficult to understand why. But let me suggest this possibility. If children are looking to their fathers for spiritual guidance, in families where the father attended church — despite their mother’s indifference — it proved the sincerity of the father’s faith. This may also suggest that in situations where both mother and father are regular church attendees, the father may be attending because of the mother’s influence, a fact being picked up by the children.
Commenting on this study, Anglican Vicar Robbie Low says, “when the child begins to move into that differentiation from home and engagement with the world out there, he (and she) looks increasingly to the father for that role model.”
So where does this lead me? Well, I am putting out a call to all Southbrook men (Husbands, Fathers, Single Men) to join me for men’s leadership training. Though I do not have all the details now, I want to start by seeing what level of interest there is out there (though that will not be the determining factor — I believe we need to do this even if only 10 guys show up). Most likely this will be a 1 hour, early morning deal that I lead one day at the beginning of each month. The exact time and location are not decided as of yet, but I am looking to start at the beginning of February.
Oh, and one more very important thing. This will not be for wishy washy, mediocre, half hearted, partially committed men. I’m serious as a heart attack about this. Please only respond if you are too.
With that said, if you are interested in taking charge of your life, becoming the spiritual leader in your home, a better husband, more godly role model, better father, etc… leave a comment on this post. Over the next week or so I will link back to this in all my posts so that those interested are not scattered all over various blog posts.
Simple, right?
Guys? It’s time for men to be men. We need to lead the way in a culture increasingly losing theirs!
Who’s with me?
42 Comments currently posted.
Joe Louthan says:
Matt Langley says:
I am “down with that” Rob. In fact after we put the Southbrook stickers on our cars this past weekend it made me realize something. When we are driving around our fair city we need to hold our tongues, not show people what we believe their IQ to be, and to “drive on” when provoked since we now have a sign pointing to the church and ultimately to Him. It also made me think that we should be that way at all times reflecting Christ’s love and patience whether we have a sticker identifying us Christ followers or not. I am up for anything that brings us closer to each other, helps us reach out to others, and also helps us fulfill our three “P” duties as men. Be more effective priests, providers, and protectors of our households. Just because we are made from dust does not mean we should treat each other like dirt.
Steve says:
In my morning time with God this morning, I asked him for a way to help me strengthen my family. Then I get on here and read your post. I guess this is one way He is teliing me how. 
Darren says:
Rob,
don’t know the details…
don’t know what it will entail…
do know I need to be better at all the things you mentioned…
do know I need to be involved…
count me in,
Darren
Preston says:
I look forward to the growth and encouragement.
I will pray to God that he will help me add this to my full life. As a divorced Dad of two boys, trying to balance spirituality, the “new” family (the boys and me), work, being Dad, and play has been difficult - and trying to pass on the same as a role model to the boys is even harder
- but I believe that such an endeavor can only make me and all of us better
Lance Ratliff says:
Count me in Rob, I to have been looking for this type of guidance. I do not care when or where I will make time. Thanks so much for what you do.
rob says:
Count me in. I have always seen my kids looking to me when we have a late saturday night to see where getting up for church fit in the priorities. I know I need the guidance and encouragement to keep them pointed to Him.
Fred Grotophorst says:
Rob,
I would like to attend. This is a great idea and your stats are eyeopening.
Fred Grotophorst
Josh Via says:
Yes sir, Pastor Rob! Count me in, bro! More than anything I want to be a godly leader for my family. I am realizing more and more that it is the father who sets the spiritual thermostat for the family. That was my promise to Tasha in our vows 6 years ago. And that will remain my promise!
Jay Foreman says:
If it’s good enough for Josh Via…..a great man thermometer by the way… then I’m in. And I want a seat next to Fred…He’s thirsty for God. And since it’s morning… I wanna sit with Lance too, he’s from Texas and KNOWS breakfast. That’s what I’m talkin’ bout.
Grunt ( man sound)
I’m in town Monday and Tuesday morning in Feb.
mark cianciosa says:
Rob …
I have to agree with what Darren said … without any details and as long as it is not on a Monday … I am IN!
As far as the guys and attendance … I think the figures would most likely increase if you measure Dad’s involvement at Church. I can see the kids who’s Dad’s are involved in teaching and helping in Children’s Church change their attitude towards church as well. So if you are interested in taking an even deeper step to ensure what your kids are seeing in their Dad get involved in Children’s Church and it will also inhance who he/she becomes when they grow up … so if any of you guys are interested in helping at Children’s Church just let me know … we could use you … but your kids NEED you! Just call me if you are interested … 704-975-7098.
In HIS Service & alwayts keeping Rob in my prayers;
Mark Cianciosa
Joe Valentino says:
Count me in. I have been looking for someone as an accountability partner. Now I can have many.
bigdadgib says:
This train is on the right track
Mike Harvey says:
While I’ve always been a believer, I’ve just recently started to practice and grow in my relationship with God. I can already see it making a difference in my life as well as the rest of my families. I’m taking this as a sign for me to take the next step and be the “leader” you are calling for. I can only hope the my sons son will reap the benefits.
Thanks for the opportunity count me in!
Josh says:
You can add me to the list. This is exactly what I need.
Lance Ratliff says:
I think Jay just called me fat? I am still in and very excited to be involved in a group of God loving men.
Chris Goeller says:
Not sure how long ago Rob you said as soon as you saw your children give their lives to Christ, then all else you could accomplish or do, was just gravy, just icing on the cake. As a husband and father of two young impressionable children, I know God commands me to be the the leader of my household. I want nothing more than to help guide my family so that we know one day we will all be rejoicing together at His right hand in heaven. Count me in.
Patrick Van Buskirk says:
I want in too. If its a weekday meeting I hope its real early.
Steve and Janie says:
This is the “Steve” of Steve & Janie — count me in as well.
I’ve already raised my kids but did not always set the best example about “church.” I can personally attest to the challenges as well as the mixed results. My kids are now adults who make their own choices, though I am acutely aware that my example while they were children still influence their choices.
However, I can be a support to other men at Southbrook even as they support me.
Come on, men - lots rally around each other. One of the best places to reach out to and be Christ-follower examples to the lost … is in our own families!
Selfishly, the best time for me is Saturday because of my weekday commute and unpredictable corporate teaching schedule. Still, I will do my best to attend whenever!
Oh, and sit me close to Jay …
Steve Gale says:
Gee, Rob, I think you struck a nerve! As one who has been meeting with other guys for years, I want to encourage all of our guys to give this a shot. We too often live as islands in our world and we can grow much better together. Rob, I will suspend my Monday men’s group during this period so that we can all join in together. As someone suggested, I’d make it early so that as many commuters as possible can attend. I’ll volunteer to open the door and make the coffee……Lord knows we’ll need coffee! Thanks!
Marty says:
I’ve been looking for strong men’s group. Count me in.
Steve and Janie says:
This is “Janie” of Steve and Janie. I just wanted to let you all know how wonderful it is to see such a great response from the men in our church. As a wife, we really need you. As a sister in Christ, we want nothing more than our brothers in Christ to have a place to connect.
All of you definitely have my prayers, that you will grow and be encouraged.
Thank you for caring enough about your families by joining together, learning from each other and building those friendships that we as women have been doing. I know this will be a rewarding experience.
Wonderful idea Pastor Rob! Thank you!
Oh, and I think Steve should also sit by Jay to keep him in line! He-he!
Kati says:
It puts a smile on my face to see how ready the southbrook men are to get involved.
As a youth, I assure you that the more you guys are involved in Church that it really is a HUGE positive influence in our lives, and for some another push toward our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ./
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Mike Gates says:
DUDE>>>>>DUDE….Of course I am in. Hopefully we can get done by 7:30am to get to work by 8am…
Terrell Wilson says:
Rob,
I’m part of a men’s small group and we discussed your note this morning and would like to be part of this. There are four of us and we’ll look forward to hearing the next steps.
Jax says:
If intensifying my (everyone’s)) walk with God with relentless pursuit is the group’s mission….count me in.
The sooner then the better
JamesPayne says:
I’m in! When do we start?
Alan Abbott says:
I am in.
Jack Ross says:
Depending on the day and time I’m in.
Jay Foreman says:
This is starting to sound like a Chick-fil-A kinda opportunity…
Hint Hint Art. Psssst… Hey Art, ya listenin here? Jesus and chickn biscuts…”Dang” That’s worth gettin up early for.
Aarrrrrt….are ya listenin?
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Phil says:
I’m in (best times — really early or Saturday). Can the Chic-Fil-A hold 1000 men?
Kendall says:
I welcome this opportunity and count me in too. Saturdays are generally fine for me. I guess I’ve always sensed that I was meant to be the spiritual leader of my family. I’ve also experienced it. It wasn’t until I wanted more of Christ in my life that my family developed the same desire.
Dave Peterson says:
Rob,
Godly families don’t just happen because our intentions are good. We are all weak, sinful and running around with scissors in the dark (until Christ turns on the light and stops the damage we were doing to our wives and children). Let’s roll.
Thanks,
Dave
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Ron says:
Count me in
Teresa Farmer says:
Thanks Pastor Rob for getting this group started.
As a divorced mother of three boys - my heart is to see them grow into Godly men. I can feed, clothe, financially and emotionally care for my three sons, but I feel lost in how to teach them to be Godly men. Some day, they will be the spiritual leaders of their homes and they have had no example of a Christian father. My prayer is that men will constantly step into their lives who will be the “salt” and show them their role as Christian men. By strengthening the men of this church - think of the foundation that can be built for families now and for future families. I can’t think of a more lasting impact than to have men, husbands, fathers, grandfathers all strengthened and powered by God to lead their families. I will be in prayer for this group. Praise be to God!
Orlando C says:
Please count me in!!!
Allen Emerick says:
I’m with you - count me in.
Alan Wamsley says:
It’s all good. Just like the book of Numbers, every number counts. Please add one more. Thank you for your offering.
Those stats are actually very encouraging in my situation.
I am divorced and father of one 5 year old son. I am a Christian who is absolutely in love with Christ and my son’s mom, despite growing up in the church, is seriously doubting Creation, Flood or Christ Jesus’ role here on earth.
Fortunately, I have my son every single weekend from Friday through Sunday. Fortunately, I see my son every other day during the four other weekdays.
However, I will not rely on stats alone to save my son obviously. My God has blessed me with a son with a kind and gentle heart and I will raise him up in a Godly manner if I truly depend on the wisdom and understanding of God.